“Why’d you use a yellow one, Marv? The yellow ones are better.”—Uncle Marvin’s friend Brian after Marv put an optic yellow Top Flite into the drink on the 7th hole of today’s 9. If you are a golfer, or even a reformed one like me, you’ll know that this is priceless. If not, then imagine a 60 year-old man in calf-length jorts and an AC/DC “For Those About To Rock” T-shirt. That should do it.
i feel like this is the movie poster for every comedy movie made for the last decade.
right? not one bit of care taken.
not having television means i have no idea what movies are out, whom they star, or which is oscar-worthy. i’d never even heard of this abortion until i saw it on the redbox. having tv-blinders on means my senses are heightened to other media promotions. ok, not really … i don’t pay attention at all, but it can leave me intrigued by a poster or cover art without even realizing it’s pure shit.
that said, i’ve chosen a movie from redbox based on its cover art once. i’m a person who could/should be ripe for hollywood’s picking via pretty pictures, but they’ve failed miserably.
the one film i chose solely based on its cover art was the american.
this is beautiful. as was the movie, which i liked quite a lot.
i’d see more movies if we had more of this & less of the above.
Texas lawmakers cut sex ed from two six-month courses to a single unit of “abstinence only” education. But early indications showed that the program wasn’t working. In fact, teens in almost all high school grades were having more sex after undergoing the abstinence only program. By 2007, Texas had the highest teen birth rate in the nation.
my most eventful lunch or: 20 minutes that shook the world*
it’s a thousand degrees out, so i stuck to the skyway system for today’s lunch. usually i opt for a 1pm start which thins out the numbers and allows me to linger, unfettered, whilst checking my media or reading one of the local shitty papers.
my craving was pizza. i have no fucking clue why. there’s a joint in my office building called Mama’s i’d never tried. so yeah, i did. the following are a few observations made between 12:47pm and 1:08pm.
a woman riding the descending escalator (kind of a misnomer there, ain’t it? you’re not really escalating anything. more like … well, i can’t seem to find the opposite word for ‘escalator’. descalator seems childish and slangy. work in it, will you?) … anyhoo, back to the woman on the descending “___”, who was rocking a sports bra. like no shit, a sports bra. not a halter, not a tank, the supportive garment used for movement and/or athletic activity. as a top. the sue ellen mischke of minneapolis. only unattractive and obviously just giving the fuck up in this heat. despite this, i still had an appetite.
Mama’s Pizza. large slices. a cheese was only $2.50 or so. cheese bread with marinara is only $2.17. so being a hungry boy, i opted for one cheese, one cheesebread. immediately after ordering i realized how pathetic that was. “can i get you some MORE cheese, fatty?”, said the cashiernotreally. the cheese bread is enormous. like 1/2 a french loaf, with hulking dimensions roughly 4”x 8”X 1”. that plus a soda came to about $7.50. i love a deal, but it only qualifies if you stop at one item … and no $2.50 soda. ballshit.
major strike against “Mama’s” Pizza: the taste. garbage. absolute shit. i had better pizza in high school. it’s odd how you can have that much cheese, that much dough and yet be that much flavorless. yes, that much flavorless. it’s so bad it makes your syntax go to shit.
major strike #2: fucking fox news on the television. no wonder the dolts who watch that shit hate everything. the intonation of every word spewed from the “anchor’s” mouth was accusatory and derisive. the 13 minutes i spent in Mama’s made me so stupid i could just gwarfnhfffft.
and let’s talk about the Mama’s signage and logo. seriously? we live in one of the hottest, hippest advertising towns in the country, and the best you can do is this:
appaling. you’re not even trying, Mama.
and now let’s now talk about that name: Mama’s. “got an idea for a pizza joint.” “yeah?, what’ll you call it?” “perfect name. perfect. ready? you don’t look ready. wait for it … Mama’s.” “Mama’s?” “Mama’s, motherfucker. pizza just like Mama’s. it’s got everything, nostalgia, family, a terrible font.” listen, if Mama’s pizza has any resemblance to the pizza at Mama’s Bakery Pizza Salad Bar, then drag your mother out to an open field, force her to dig her own grave and shoot her twice in the head … with cookbooks. seriously, don’t hurt your mother. but she does deserve to be severely punished for serving you shit like this.
high-tailing the shit outta Mama’s was all that was on my mind. i tossed half of it. terrible food, terrible ambiance, terrible fucking fox news. on the whole, the worst lunch i’ve had in weeks. possibly all year.
nearly saving the entire ordeal was seeing a dude about to ascend the building escalator who looked like the spitting image of eric cantona.
though i’m pretty sure the king wouldn’t be caught dead in jorts and flip flops. hope you’re going to the beach not-eric cantona, otherwise you have no excuse. men dress like shit.
now, to save this post, here’s the man himself with one of the sweetest goals you’ll ever see, and the greatest goal celebration of all time.
interesting, angering, not-at-all surprising article on how billion dollar corporations can and will build their own media to advance their message (see: lies). murdoch already did it on a grand scale, but minnows like the $6b in the 1st quarter Chevron scare me just as much. fake news websites that deliver the company message.
in today’s media universe, billboards, TV ads, and even Web videos, are no longer enough. That’s where the New Jersey firm Social Media Today steps in. I was accidentally sent a confidential presentation for Chevron from a Social Media Today representative I’d earlier corresponded with on another story. It pitches the oil company on a project to build an entire website that apes journalistic outlets in form and appearance but is ultimately committed to advancing Chevron’s goals. The presentation offers a window into the frontiers of greenwashing and corporate messaging on the Web.
We have to realize what this country’s economy has become. Our monetary policy, through the Federal Reserve Act of 1913, privatized the money supply, gathers the wealth, puts it in the hands of the few while the Federal Reserve can create money out of nothing, give it to banks to park at the Fed while our small businesses are starving for capital.
Mark my words — Wall Street cashes in whether we have a default or not. And the same type of thinking that created billions in bailouts for Wall Street and more than $1 trillion in giveaways by the Federal Reserve today leaves 26 million Americans either underemployed or unemployed. And nine out of ten Americans over the age of 65 are facing cuts in their Social Security in order to pay for a debt which grew from tax cuts for the rich and for endless wars.
There is a massive transfer of wealth from the American people to the hands of a few and it’s going on right now as America’s eyes are misdirected to the political theater of these histrionic debt negotiations, threats to shut down the government, and willingness to make the most Americans pay dearly for debts they did not create.
These are symptoms of a government which has lost its way, and they are a challenge to the legitimacy of the two-party system.